Huntington Post Accounts

Help get the best articles to the top

Save articles to your profile

Get In-Depth Statistics (Coming Soon!)

Access exclusive subscriber-only articles (New!)

Absolutely free! No payments ever

Create an Account Login to Existing Account

A Breathtaking Interview

By Gerald Fitz (Arizonian Writer) - Published 2018-08-01

Read this excerpt from an interesting interview

Gerald Fitz: Hello, Thank you for meeting me here

Greg: You're welcome, but it wasn’t my choice, By the way where am I? I was walking down the street, then a sharp pain on the back of my neck...

Gerald Fitz: I am sorry; What is your name?

Greg: Bob

Gerald Fitz: Okay Greg, so you are an illuminati conspirator?

Greg: My name is Bob, and what? I am a Perfume vendor from Tampa?

Gerald Fitz: So?

Greg: Nevermind

Gerald Fitz: Ah! So you admit to it!

Greg: Huh?

Gerald Fitz: To being an Illuminati conspirator

Greg: Uh, Sure fine

Gerald Fitz: Why did you do it?

Greg: Do what?

Gerald Fitz: Kill Narwhals, cover up the moon landing...

Greg: What?

Gerald Fitz: You know, doing all the evil secret society things

Greg: Uh, I don't know?

Gerald Fitz: Do you think this is because of holographic mind control laser half cat half Schizophrenia schistosomiasis cell hybrids?

Greg: WHAT? I am not answering anothing thing until you let me out

After a small chase around the interviewing table and him banging on the cell inteving room door(He thought he could break through a reinforced door with his foot! Funny), We bring him back to the door

Greg: What is this room made of anyway?

Gerald Fitz: Back to the interroga- interview. Back to the interview

Greg: You are going to let me go, right?

Gerald Fitz: No. why would we ever do that? Anyway, where were we? Oh I remember; Illuminati recruitment. So, How did they corrupt you

Greg: Who is they?

Gerald Fitz: the Man; Alien reptiles; China; illuminati freemasons in the secret society of bees. You know, Those Guys.

Greg: You do know the illuminati has not been around for thousands of years?

Gerald Fitz: Ah, So you do not appreciate science and deny the factual evidence

Greg: Oh my god, you are one of those people

Gerald Fitz: Yea, I am a truther and I am smart and right!

Greg: You are really dumb

Gerald Fitz: I am not!

Greg: You kinda are

Gerald Fitz: Am not!

Greg: Am too!

Gerald Fitz: Am not!

Greg: Am too!

This continued for some time

Greg: Fine, you aren’t dumb, Will you please let me out of here? I hate starvation

Gerald Fitz: You may eventually be let out

Greg: That doesn’t sound certain

Gerald Fitz: What did I say about talking back to me!

Greg: I am very sorry your greatness. So… what is this room made of anyway?

Gerald Fitz: Reinforced steel surrounded by a series of blast doors capable of withstanding a direct nuclear blast of 5 gigatons. I know it’s not a lot, but we make do.

Greg: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Gerald Fitz: We can’t have our victu- interviewee escaping, Not that you would have a reason to.

Greg: I have a family!

Gerald Fitz: They are probably robots anyway. We are pretty sure your not a robot when we surgically opened up your chest

Greg: You what?

Gerald Fitz: We surgically opened up your chest to insure you are from this planet are not a vampire robot and not secretly a unicorn.

Greg: You thought I was a unicorn

Gerald Fitz: You can never be sure with the illuminati using chemicals and donuts to hide their appearance.

Greg: My family are not robots!

Gerald Fitz: Did you not just hear about the part with the donuts and chemicals.

Greg: I swear my family are not robots!

Gerald Fitz: Yes we did do a surgery, Not robots. They managed to all survive, which is special because you and your family are the first ones to ever survive the procedure; it has about a 99.99% fatality rate

For some reason he jumped out and attacked me, Lucky he was handcuffed to the cold hard metal table as the microchip kicked in; Knocking him out cold.

Greg: What just happened

Gerald Fitz: We had to knock you unconscious as you attacked me as an illuminati drugs caused you to become more aggressive

Greg: Oh I remember now, YOU PERFORMED A DANGEROUS SURGERY ON MY ENTIRE FAMILY

Gerald Fitz: So

Greg: THEY COULD HAVE DIED

Gerald Fitz: So

Greg: THEY COULD HAVE DIED

Gerald Fitz: It's better than the other option, we cannot have any robots walking among us.

Greg: You are insane! Completely psychotic!

Gerald Fitz: “Psychotic” is a term made up by the elite top 1% in order to point fingers at the people who are not brainwashed

Greg: Oh my god you are genuinely insane

Gerald Fitz: “Insane” is another illuminati term

Greg: I must be on some kinda a hidden camera show

Gerald Fitz: Nah, I swept for bugs 10 minutes ago, there are no recording devices within a 30 mile radius

Greg: You are completely mad; certainly paranoid!

Gerald Fitz: Being paranoid is the only way to avoid the illuminati’s influence

Greg: They don’t exist!

Gerald Fitz: Yea they do, You only think that because you have been brainwashed

Greg: That is a terrible counterargument! You could say literally anything, like that there

is a magical nickel that controls time and space that is on the top of a miniature eiffel tower

Gerald Fitz: Well there is

Greg: WHAT THE? WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

Gerald Fitz: There is

Greg: I CANNOT HANDLE THIS ANYMORE! YOU WILL LET ME GO… NOW!!!

He attacked me again, Now we are certain he has an aggression causing mind control chip. Now we know what the true villains are capable of. Once he woke up he was put into observation, to see how often the chip takes effect. He will be there for a while...

Editor's Note: We are not exactly sure how Mr. Arizonian Writer got ahold of the payroll, let alone enough to rent the Apache Attack Helicopter. How did he get an entry permit to one of our facilities?

Login to Like this Article

Recent Articles

CIA Undercover Agents

Written By Gerald Fitz - Category: Science - Likes: 1

These are confusing times, and in these times many injustices go unanswered. With the regular media focusing on other issues like the pandemic, many clandestine activities go unanswered. Some will have you believe that the pandemic has halted the intru...
2021-02-21

Heinous deeds committed by brand name soda corporations

Written By Kororalpiplichi Chriktommpich - Category: Science - Likes: 2

Written by Guest Writer Kororalpiplichi Chriktommpich Carbonated beverages have taken the world by storm ever since their creation in 1244 BCE, but much more so once Coca Cola started putting very addictive substances in their beverag...
2021-02-12

Jase Collings Election Live

Written By The Editorial Board - Category: - Likes: 1

Huntington Post Livestream covering the Jase Collings Election LIVE at 6:00 pm today https://youtu.be/oqFAMt1GDI4 Privacy Enhanced mode is ON. No information will be collected until you press play.
2020-11-04

HuntingtonPost Halloween Party

Written By Editorial Board - Category: Science - Likes: 2

Happy All Hallows Eve from your friends at the Huntington Post!To celebrate this time of spooks and skeletons, we held a inter-office halloween party. The interns who hadn't heard in advance that they would have to work on halloween were partially tri...
2020-10-31

Undisputed Facts

Written By Gerald Fitz - Category: Mathematics - Likes: 2

In this day and age, we have to be ever-vigilant. Many people have denounced the ideas of facts in favor of stories. We have to follow the facts, wherever they lead. For example, Deaths due to cancer on Thursdays nearly perfectly correlates with Lawyer...
2020-08-28

Space is Explosive!

Written By An Miniature Kitten - Category: Science - Likes: 20

A recent study at Hardvard University shows that there is a dangerous chemical outside of the atmosphere. The area dubbed “space” by HPSD was actually discovered to be a dangerous cloud of gas. This gas was dubbed Gabhulokmabavcufhudphyshaculdulic...
2018-09-18

5 Signs your Pillow is plotting your demise

Written By Fred - Category: Other - Likes: 11

The mere presence of a pillow is already enough reason to sound the alarm and batten down the hatches and call in an attack squadron armed with automatic assault rifles. However, you may be thinking to yourself, “How do I know that my memory foam ort...
2018-10-29

5 Reasons Hammers are magical

Written By Fred - Category: - Likes: 10

Did you know that Hammers are Magical? Of course you don’t! But, I will tell you about 5 reasons that they are the absolute best thing that ever happened to that earth.Did you know that hammers were originally designed by aliens that lived in 5th dim...
2018-10-27

Dangerous Chemical Kills Millions

Written By Editorial Board - Category: Science - Likes: 7

In the 18th century, chemist Henry Cavendish discovered the molecule of a substance humanity would soon regret. Dihydrogen Monoxide is a dangerous substance that has been linked to the deaths of millions of individuals throughout time. T...
2018-08-01

Meet the Editorial Board!

Written By The Editorial Board - Category: Intra - Likes: 6

Bob: I am the Huntington Post Accountant. I hate my job. This is a cry for help.Dr. Heplar: I am a scientist. A perfect scientist. I do everything right. And, I have absolutely no intentions to take over the world.Dr. Heinbrow: I am the greatest scient...
2018-09-18

Hidden Gems

A Brilliant Study

Written By Dr. Heinbrow - Category: Mathematics - Likes: 0

Dr Heinbow, PHD In Gravimetric Theory. I have recently published an article called “An Essay Approaching on the Effects of Supperpositionaly unstable antimatter that has been quantum mechanically phased into a 49th dimensional plane on the sociology ...
2018-08-01

New Property of Ice Found!

Written By the Editorial Board - Category: Science - Likes: 0

The Antarctic division of the Huntington Science Wing has reported that in their small antarctic town that they have found a new property of ice! They say this new property that is completely new to the world will revolutionize not only food, but also ...
2018-08-01

Gravitons Made Trees

Written By Dr. Yamok and Gerald Fitz (Arizonian Writer) - Category: Science - Likes: 0

Gravimetric Eddies caused by spikes in the Gravimetric field due to people riding bicycles excessively over dinosaur ghosts from the nether world have forced trees into our space-time. This causes rips in the spacetime continuum and allows monster tree...
2018-08-01

The Illuminati Think They Are Hackers

Written By The Editorial Board - Category: - Likes: 0

So, it is apparent to to us, at least, that we were indeed HACKED by the illuminati. They chose to brag about their minor victory on our website. So we chose to retaliate the honorable way - by changing the password. Ha! So there! Ok, fine, not very co...
2018-08-01

A Great Wondrous Tale

Written By Person 0 - Category: Science - Likes: 0

Our tale starts with a man named bob, But instead of Bob let's call him person 1. Person 1 loved dogs, Instead of dogs let's call them mammal ones. Person 1 had 3 mammal ones which were named sophie, gerald and nickoli. Those names are complicated let'...
2018-08-01