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Bunnies are Planning to Attack!

By Scarlet Ashburn - Published 2018-08-01

So here Easter comes around again. The holiday of mutilating chocolate bunnies and some white bunny breaks into your house. But is the Easter Bunny all as sweet and nice as he seems? NO! They are actually leading a bunny army to attack all of mankind!

The first and foremost bit of research shows that bunnies are criminals. I mean think about it: They must have lock picks to enter into victims’ houses! Bunnies obviously cannot come through the chimney because they do not collaborate with Santa (After all, he eats them!). Once a bunny gave me a death stare whilst it was in my backyard. It was quite obvious he wanted to eat me alive.

And even scarier, they are HUGE! Once a pool table fell off the roof of my house (if Bob asks where the payroll went say you don’t know). I went to get it, and there was a huge hole in the ground! THE BUNNY HAD BEEN THERE! It was almost the size of my pool table, and I think there was some red in the ground. And, I once found an egg on my counter, the bunnies would have be to 5 ft to reach it! It was obvious that they are humongous so that when they attack they shall have the upper hand! But they shall be mistaken…

Bunnies have a secret weakness: Me. I AM YOUR ONLY HOPE IF YOU WISH TO LIVE. THE BUNNIES WILL NOT THREATEN YOU WITH THEIR TOASTER CANNONS IF YOU BOW DOWN TO ME AND I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY SWORD MADE OF DEAD PAINTED CHICKEN BABIES!

And, to conclude, hide yourself and bow down to me to live.

Oh, and I am running against Jase Collings. Make America bunny-genocidal again!

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