Data Breach

By The It Dept. - Published 2019-01-06

*To be perfectly clear, this is a joke. We have not suffered a data breach*

Hello, it’s the IT Dept. of the Huntington Post. We gave ourselves writer privilege so we could publish this article. Your welcome. We need to inform you of a data breach in the Huntington Post. Over 40,000 records have been compromised by the attackers, including but not limited to, coffee filter order data, receipts for asteroid sales, and several thousand cat pictures saved to Dr. Yamok’s hard drive.

The attack was carried out with Kali linux by Ddosing the mainframe and using Fornite hacks to get past the firewall and what the hell am I saying this is all complete nonsense.

Some idiot forgot to put a password on the database. We are not sure who. But no password. Really. How many meetings have we gone to about the importance of at least having a password? A hundred? Thousands? Millions?

I’m not even sure why we have those records. Is this what is on the second floor? Coffee filters?

Cue some nonsense about how we protect your data and stuff because I don’t want to write it. I changed the password, so don’t worry. No one guesses my passwords. Not even me.

We have some strange records in the database, apparently.