New Device allows walking through walls

By Jase Collings - Published 2018-08-01

Inventor Jase Collings invented a new form of transportation: the Lojmit! It can be installed and used on practically any wall. Best of all, it is affordable. Many middle class residents will be able to use these devices and are expected to be in about all U.S. homes by the end of the year. If you think that this tech is going to easily take the tech world by storm, then you are right. Dr. James was asked to comment on the new tech.

“It is preposterous! It is extremely insecure and is relatively fragile. The government would be able to break it down with just one hit.” He says. Jase Collings said that peripherals could be easily appended from various companies. This would include types of security, including locks, surveyance devices, and pets that could be trained to warn that somebody was trying to use it.

We went into the Hous- Laboratory of Jase Collings. He welcomed us at the door and invited us into his dining room. He got some leftover pancakes from breakfast a little bit easier and brought them to his wood brown dining table. Peering out the bay windows he talked about how he invented the marvelous device.

“It was a beautiful spring day, I woke to the buzzing sound of my alarm clock. It makes this little BUZZ noise followed by a Ding!” He went on to say “Rolling out of my queen mattress I put on the first pair of blue-jeans I saw and an old T-Shirt I got at a George Jear concert. He was the best” “He would sing all these amazing things in this black theater down on fifth street, I mean he played rock, jazz and even country!” “I remember waking up that day to my alarm clock, Got up and in some random shirt and drove all the way for 10 minutes to the concert. I had stayed there for three hours, and I bought the tee-shirt on the way out” Returning to the main story he said “I had opened the door and walked to this very dining room,Then into my lab. I had spent 25 hours researching my secret project through the course of that one day. I would pace back and forth on the metallic floor of my lab. I had flipped through countless articles. There was like four, maybe three different books I had to look through to get information aiding my research. Near the end I was struck, I could not complete my project. So I fell on plan B” He suddenly got up and left. Not saying anything else.

Instead let's go to a more indepth analysis by a random guy on the street, let's rename him bob. Let's go to bob's analysis “I have seen this before, It isn’t very special” We said in return “Shut up bob, You are wrong!” “I am right and my name isn’t bob it’s Mackadamiarniacatitinarimanorac the 1.0294872113x10^34” in defence of ourself we said “You have a stupid name!” as our entire team walked away from this clearly insane person.

One of our top researchers Dr. Heinbrow quoted A Brilliant Study You can find somewhere on this site “In Sector 106, subsection 40, Chapter 57 Page 94 Paragraph 314 It says and I quote ‘This mechanism consists of a rectangular prismoid connected to a series of braces. These connect to the connecting sector with shorter cylindroids that exist in an establishing relationship to the entirety of the item‘ Furthermore 99 paragraphs later it says ‘It comprises of an artificial Quercus Shell but it may comprise of any material for example it could be quantum mechanically held nano-neutrinos’” He continued his boring rant for so much time that time itself got bored and ran off. With time back we move on to Gerald Fitz.

“I know it has to be the illuminati. Such a terrible device even existing must be the fault of the illuminati. Plus some have little holes that look like eyes. Just try and tell me that it is just a ‘coincidence’, Just try!” His reasoning is perfect. This has to be the illuminati. This invention could change the fabric of society, history and the universe itself. Jase collings is a genius for inventing it, however it is obvious that this glorious invention has been co-opted by the illuminati. It is such a shame

Jase collings has found a new name for this miracle of technology, He calls it a Do“or”