Huntington Post Accounts

Help get the best articles to the top

Save articles to your profile

Get In-Depth Statistics (Coming Soon!)

Access exclusive subscriber-only articles (New!)

Absolutely free! No payments ever

Create an Account Login to Existing Account

Our best work EVER.

By - Published 2019-11-20

Sorry, but to view this article, please update to the latest version of Java, install Adobe Flash, log into facebook, upload a profile picture to Disqus, confirm your email address, enable your webcam, change your keyboard layout to Dvorak, install the latest mouse drivers, confirm you are logged into your Google account, are not a super villain and are running a modern OS, confirm your screen resolution is larger than 4k, your mouse pad is compatible, your headphones are plugged in completely, verify you have restarted your computer, closed all other tabs, insure your pencil has been sharpened, update your house to the latest firmware, you are following all of Jase Collings Propositions, and please make sure you have the latest motherboard, childboard, grandfatherboard, etc.

This content is only available on Mars, the International Space Station, round planets, Ukraine, and Challenger Deep.

To unlock this content you must solve at least 3 of the millennium problems, the unexpected hanging paradox, world hunger, why my phone bill has my phone number right above “tax”, and why there is only ever one good USB cable.

To continue, please insert a flash drive correctly on the first try, have a computer do exactly what you want for once, and get past Airport security without stressing and precheck.

You are also going to need to restart your computer to do updates.

Login to Like this Article

Recent Articles

CIA Undercover Agents

Written By Gerald Fitz - Category: Science - Likes: 1

These are confusing times, and in these times many injustices go unanswered. With the regular media focusing on other issues like the pandemic, many clandestine activities go unanswered. Some will have you believe that the pandemic has halted the intru...
2021-02-21

Heinous deeds committed by brand name soda corporations

Written By Kororalpiplichi Chriktommpich - Category: Science - Likes: 2

Written by Guest Writer Kororalpiplichi Chriktommpich Carbonated beverages have taken the world by storm ever since their creation in 1244 BCE, but much more so once Coca Cola started putting very addictive substances in their beverag...
2021-02-12

Jase Collings Election Live

Written By The Editorial Board - Category: - Likes: 1

Huntington Post Livestream covering the Jase Collings Election LIVE at 6:00 pm today https://youtu.be/oqFAMt1GDI4 Privacy Enhanced mode is ON. No information will be collected until you press play.
2020-11-04

HuntingtonPost Halloween Party

Written By Editorial Board - Category: Science - Likes: 2

Happy All Hallows Eve from your friends at the Huntington Post!To celebrate this time of spooks and skeletons, we held a inter-office halloween party. The interns who hadn't heard in advance that they would have to work on halloween were partially tri...
2020-10-31

Undisputed Facts

Written By Gerald Fitz - Category: Mathematics - Likes: 2

In this day and age, we have to be ever-vigilant. Many people have denounced the ideas of facts in favor of stories. We have to follow the facts, wherever they lead. For example, Deaths due to cancer on Thursdays nearly perfectly correlates with Lawyer...
2020-08-28

Space is Explosive!

Written By An Miniature Kitten - Category: Science - Likes: 20

A recent study at Hardvard University shows that there is a dangerous chemical outside of the atmosphere. The area dubbed “space” by HPSD was actually discovered to be a dangerous cloud of gas. This gas was dubbed Gabhulokmabavcufhudphyshaculdulic...
2018-09-18

5 Signs your Pillow is plotting your demise

Written By Fred - Category: Other - Likes: 11

The mere presence of a pillow is already enough reason to sound the alarm and batten down the hatches and call in an attack squadron armed with automatic assault rifles. However, you may be thinking to yourself, “How do I know that my memory foam ort...
2018-10-29

5 Reasons Hammers are magical

Written By Fred - Category: - Likes: 10

Did you know that Hammers are Magical? Of course you don’t! But, I will tell you about 5 reasons that they are the absolute best thing that ever happened to that earth.Did you know that hammers were originally designed by aliens that lived in 5th dim...
2018-10-27

Dangerous Chemical Kills Millions

Written By Editorial Board - Category: Science - Likes: 7

In the 18th century, chemist Henry Cavendish discovered the molecule of a substance humanity would soon regret. Dihydrogen Monoxide is a dangerous substance that has been linked to the deaths of millions of individuals throughout time. T...
2018-08-01

Meet the Editorial Board!

Written By The Editorial Board - Category: Intra - Likes: 6

Bob: I am the Huntington Post Accountant. I hate my job. This is a cry for help.Dr. Heplar: I am a scientist. A perfect scientist. I do everything right. And, I have absolutely no intentions to take over the world.Dr. Heinbrow: I am the greatest scient...
2018-09-18

Hidden Gems

A Brilliant Study

Written By Dr. Heinbrow - Category: Mathematics - Likes: 0

Dr Heinbow, PHD In Gravimetric Theory. I have recently published an article called “An Essay Approaching on the Effects of Supperpositionaly unstable antimatter that has been quantum mechanically phased into a 49th dimensional plane on the sociology ...
2018-08-01

New Property of Ice Found!

Written By the Editorial Board - Category: Science - Likes: 0

The Antarctic division of the Huntington Science Wing has reported that in their small antarctic town that they have found a new property of ice! They say this new property that is completely new to the world will revolutionize not only food, but also ...
2018-08-01

Gravitons Made Trees

Written By Dr. Yamok and Gerald Fitz (Arizonian Writer) - Category: Science - Likes: 0

Gravimetric Eddies caused by spikes in the Gravimetric field due to people riding bicycles excessively over dinosaur ghosts from the nether world have forced trees into our space-time. This causes rips in the spacetime continuum and allows monster tree...
2018-08-01

The Illuminati Think They Are Hackers

Written By The Editorial Board - Category: - Likes: 0

So, it is apparent to to us, at least, that we were indeed HACKED by the illuminati. They chose to brag about their minor victory on our website. So we chose to retaliate the honorable way - by changing the password. Ha! So there! Ok, fine, not very co...
2018-08-01

A Great Wondrous Tale

Written By Person 0 - Category: Science - Likes: 0

Our tale starts with a man named bob, But instead of Bob let's call him person 1. Person 1 loved dogs, Instead of dogs let's call them mammal ones. Person 1 had 3 mammal ones which were named sophie, gerald and nickoli. Those names are complicated let'...
2018-08-01