Real Flying Pig Found

By Timmothy - Published 2018-08-01

Our field division went out to a farm in Alabama. There we found something that will revolutionize all idioms as we know it, scratch that, This will change the world as we know it. So many agreements are based on “Yea, when pigs fly” but now that they do fly. Nations will crumble and empires will fall

These pigs depicted here have grown wings similar to those of a bird or a buffalo. These wings weigh only 2.5 metric tons and have the strange attribute of lifting whatever they are attached to off the ground when flapped with a surface area of 3.71×10^-24 meters. These pigs fly around the countryside of Virginia. Some have even already considered them a sign of bad luck as they make the statement “I will do it when pigs fly” a bad excuse now that they do.

Why should we care? So what if some pigs fly now. The importance of this discovery cannot be overlooked. You can ignore my argument when pigs fly. Dang it! I proved my own point, Now you have every right to click off of this article. The problem should be obvious. People will continue to use this idiom and this idiom will now not work! It will work when pigs fly! Dang it! I have proved my point again! That statement is as false as the statement that pigs can fly. No! Not again! Not another when pigs fly idiom! Here, To prevent catastrophic circumstances let's make an oath, “I won’t use that idiom till pigs fly! Its unavoidable, We will be able to avoid it when pigs fly. That statement is wrong! How do we avoid such a land mine of human speech, One that will ruin your conversation till pigs fly

But this doesn't just affect idioms. It also makes hundreds of old rules active.For example the statement”I will give you another loan when pigs fly” or “I will eat this when pigs fly” or “I will lose when pigs fly” etc. All of these and a billion billion more are now valid statements. The person who said these things, me , now has to “give greg a loan, eat a disgusting pasta, and lose the ‘Who can write the dum Greatest Huntington post article’ contest” And that is terrible! How will we ever survive

However there is an upside, Gerald fitz said “The illuminati will exist until pigs fly” Dr. Yamok said “I will give you a promotion when pigs fly” and “I will respond to this message when pigs fly” So now Yamok must respond to me, the illuminati have been abolished and I will get a promotion

While this is nice, these things will happen when pigs fly Not again, Just ignore that last line until pigs fly. You will get the point until pigs fly. Where was I? I will probably remember when pigs fly which they do now, I was talking about how none of the things we said are likely to be upheld. Because either everyone forgot about their commitments or understand that they were not serious. So this will change the world when pigs fly. I give up, and will give up until pigs fly. THIS IS FRUSTRATING AND WILL BE FRUSTRATING TILL PIGS FLY. I think the flying pigs are out to get me. They want to confuse me and take over the world. But they will succeed when pigs fly. No, YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME PIGS UNTIL PIGS FLY, YOU WANT ME TO STOP WRITING THIS ARTICLE PIGS, WELL I WILL STOP WHEN PIGS FLY. Dang those pigs are good. And they will be good until pigs fly. Its okay, they won’t take over the world until pigs fly. This is as stupid as pigs flying. You get the point.

In conclusion pigs fly and they will change the world until pigs fly. Er, well you get the point.