Star Wars Really Happened!

By The Editorial Board - Published 2018-08-01

Dr. Heplar has recently published a new study with the assistance of Dr. Heinbrow. It confirms the fact that before we have traveled to the Milky Way Galaxy and settled on earth, Humans had a huge interstellar empire in a galaxy far far away. Together they reanalyzed the higgs field to conclude that the humans have interacted directly with the force of gravity to slide into the milky way galaxy. They could “slide” because the new milky way galaxy was lower in the gravitational field matrix than the original galaxy that humans actually evolved in. Also, in light of this new evidence of travel, it is considerably likely that all human remains were faked by aliens before and so was the rest of history. Also, the Roman empire never existed, nor did the dinosaurs.

Dr. Heinbrow of course wrote an essay not only using the latest in techniques to create boring papers that take 10 days to read nonstop, but also used many words that take 3+ hours to pronounce. Dr. Heplar was helpful in deciphering the crazy lingo that Dr. Heinbrow had so inelegantly written. It had explained in unnecessary detail how the experiments were performed, and the results. We think that Dr. Heinbrow likes writing his papers just so to the point where watching paint dry is a quick distraction so his trade secrets never get out. On an completely unrelated note, the interaction with the gravitational fields has led the duo of researchers to conclude that Star Wars really happened.

The editorial board put the interstellar observatory located conveniently at the bottom of the Mariana Trench to investigate in detail the accuracy (or rather inaccuracy) of the findings. We suspect it will take until the end of this article to find out what is actually going on. Until then, we are just going to explain the greatness of Dr. Heplar’s and Dr. Heinbrow’s findings.

The scientists have also been able to see what the empire looked like by using an old technique using large mirrors in other galaxies to reflect light to earth, and use the limited speed of light to record past events. Seeing the apparent construction if a small moon, they assumed they were not looking into the past, but rather the future. We assured them that is not the future, it was to be something very different if Tim’s calculations were correct. So, they had to be indeed looking into the past. Hopefully it was also the correct Galaxy. Of course the saw the moon being deconstructed, so after consulting the H.P. Science Wing, they were apparently inverting the polarity of the light coming through and subsequently making the light go back through time. Go figure. Umm, don't think about it too much.

And so, they watched the moon being constructed right then and there in real time. They switched to a mirror that was slightly closer, and they saw it being actively blown up. So, they switched mirrors again to one a couple years away, and they saw it being blown up. This could not be, it could not be destroyed, then built, then destroyed. They of course failed to look if it was actually constructed twice. However: there was only one possibility: time was screwed up.

With time messed up. Then so is our perception of time. Such as long periods can be misinterpreted. Things like “A long time ago” can mean “last year”. Because time and space are inextricably linked with times distortion space is distorted also. For example “A galaxy far far away” now means “The milky way galaxy”.

With this new knowledge, we can relook at the opening crawl of star wars “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away”. With out new found knowledge on the nature of time and space we know this to mean “Last year in the milky way galaxy”. This is conclusive evidence of star wars’s existence. It ties together why the sphere looks like it was destroyed twice, It was. One of our scientists said “That's no moon, it's the death star”.The death star was built and destroyed twice, which lines up with what our mirrors reported. Because of this that means that our history since last year is all wrong. So the neither the dinosaurs nor the roman empire ever existed. You may be asking “How can that be, You said that the galaxy was here, yet you also mentioned light coming from somewhere else” The only possible explanation is that the galaxy moved to where it is. What kind of power would have to ability to move galaxies and could hide it. I will give you three options The illuminati, The illuminati or The illuminati. Wrong! It's the illuminati

This is perfect proof that star wars really happened. Now we need to all learn how to be jedi’s to fight the evil illuminati sith