We got an office pet!
By The Lead Editor - Published 2019-03-01
Lead Editor here: I read somewhere on a website I cannot remember a headline that I cannot remember of an article I did not read that said pets help calm nerves. So I did just that: I got a pet for the Huntington Post. I’ve invited some members of the Editorial Board (and around the office) to put together their thoughts on our new fuzzy wuzzy pet.
Mouin: Oh My… IT IS SO CUTE
Fred: I just want to snuggle it!
Yamok: Here boy: Fetch!
Heinbrow: I’m writing about this in my journal…
Heplar: They got a flipping alligator. WHY on earth did we get a flipping alligator‽
Scarlet Ashburn: This does not make me calmer!
Sir Wintrust: You Idiot!
Jase Collings: Can I keep it?
Timmothy: I thought we would get a pet when pigs fly, Wait they do!
Gerald Fitz(Arizonian Writer): You got an air conditioning unit disguised as an alligator‽
Max Greel: Does it fit in the microwave? Asking for a friend.
Lead Editor: As you can see, there have been some mixed reactions. Of course, those who had negative reactions went to the reaction chamber and will come out later. This jaw dropping pet is to die for, it is so cute! Aww, it just took my co-worker for a walk…
Yamok: Aww, it just fetched my left arm. So cute!
Heplar: Uh, Yamok? You might need a doctor…
Ashburn: And, surgery…
Gerald Fitz(Arizonian Writer): it is too hot in here; is it working?
So, I, the Lead Editor, do believe that this is a major improvement to morale in the office. The painful screaming has been decreasing drastically over the past few days! And, some people are taking initiative now: The carpet has been painted red! And, the amount of people who disagree with my decisions has decreased, as well. However, they must be allergic to alligators: some people have neglected to show up for work. But not to fear: I am docking their pay!
Heplar: You got a bloody alligator for the office, you cretin? And where the heck did the sofa go‽
Sir Wintrust: We ought to stage a mutiny…
Gerald Fitz(Arizonian Writer): Indeed.
