Which Huntingtonpost Writer are you?

By Gerald Fitz - Published 2020-01-17

We all know the loveable staff of the Huntington Post, but which one is most like you? All you have to do is take our quiz. At each question, add the number of the answer you picked. Keep a tally of your answers!

What is your favorite color of the following

1) Lead editor Red

2) Beige

3) I don't have a favorite

4) MURDER

What is your favorite drink

1) I do not require liquid substances

2) Water

3) Anything other than dihydrogen monixide

4) Tin-infused Cola(For the space aliens)

What do you do with your friends

1) Be in control of editing Articles

2) Be boring

3) Write articles

4) Uncover conspiracies

What is the meaning of life

1) To edit HP articles

2) To learn

3) 42

4) To uncover the secret

What is your favorite Pizza topping of the following

1) All of them

2) I don't eat pizza

3) Pineapple

4) Not Pineapple

You are quarter-way through the test, now remember what your number is. Make sure you do not forget your number it is incredibly important. It is not more important than your social security information nor more important than your age, but it is still important. If you keep going, before long you will you know exactly which Huntington Post staff member you are. Don't let the excitement make you forget your current number. If your number is 9, then don't forget it is nine. If you number is 8, don't forget your number is eight. Ready to continue? Good! Lets get back to it

Which is your favorite animal

1) Dog

2) Cat

3) I don't have a favorite

4) Cactus wren

What kind of vehicle is your favorite

1) Submarine

2) Car

3) Van

4) Pickup Truck

Which vegetable do you relate to the most

1) Tomato

2) Kale

3) Carrot

4) Vegetables don't exist

What is your spirit flower

1) Lotus

2) Flowers are not necessary

3) Rose

4) Bluebonnet

What is your favorite Gemstone

1) Opal

2) Pearl

3) Turquoise

4) Topaz

You are halfway through the survey. Do you still remember your number? If you don't, try taking the test again but recording your answers on a separate sheet of paper. There is no shame in restarting. Now that we are halfway, lets take a brain break. In a moment I will ask you to close your eyes. When I do, don't open them again until you read to open them again. Now, close you eyes. Now that your eyes are closed begin to breath in and out. Imagine that your lungs are an inexplicable annoying blue balloon, have it expand, then contract. Keep 5 seconds or more between them, remember, don't open your eyes. Keep doing this for another 30 minutes to an hour. Once you are done, open your eyes and continue the test, well rested and ready to finish

Did you actually do the meditation

1) No, I eat human babies

2) No, But I wish I did. I will do it now

3) Yes, But I am lying

4) Yes, I am a good person who does not kick puppies

Have you ever lies about doing meditation

1) No, I tell the truth

2) No, I am too boring to lie

3) Yes, and I am evil because of it, not deserving of love or affection.

4) No, I didn't need to because I am a good person

Should you do meditation

1) Of course

2) Of course

3) Of course

4) Of course

How many doctorates do you have?

1) I am above doctorates

2) 2-203.5

3) 1

4) Doctorates are a form of mind control

Do you trust the Huntington Post

1) Its the best place for Real Fake news

2) It is full of scientific information

3) It is the best news site

4) Because every other place is lying

The quiz is 75% complete. Was the experience exactly what you expected it to be? It is as perfect as you always wanted? The knowledge of which writer you are is a forbidden and long desired knowledge, the likes of which is barely suitable for mortal minds. So take a 5 min break. Come back to this quiz after five minutes in order to insure you mind is refreshed and ready for the completion of the quiz. You personal completion is closer now that it has been your entire miserable life

What is 1+1

1) 2

2) (sin^2 + cos^2)^(7/3) + (sqrt(52)^0)

3) Fake news

4) Whatever they say it isn't

What is the sqrt of 64?

1) What

2) What

3) What

4) What

Why

1) Yes

2) Yes

3) Yes

4) Yes

Evaluate ∫2cos⁡(w)−sec⁡(w)tan⁡(w)dw

1) Yes

2) No

3) Pie

4) HaHAHAHAHAHhfahahahahdaidkowfnwflmkfw

WhY aRe YoU lIsTeNiNg, LiTtLe PuPpEt

1)

2)

3)

4)

You completed the survey!

Take your current number and compare it to these ranges:

20-30: Lead Editor

31-50:Dr Heinbrow

51-70: Dr Yamok

71-80: Gerald Fitz

Like and share if you found this quiz amazing, Don't be a hater!

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